3.3 Why “Success” Looks Different for Everyone

Reimagining Success in Hong Kong

Close your eyes for a moment and picture “success.” What do you see? 

A shiny new flat in Mid-Levels? 

A six-figure salary at a top-tier bank in Central? 

Or maybe it’s a simple, cozy lifestyle that gives you more time to spend with family and pursue your creative passions. 

In Hong Kong, we often inherit a template of what success “should” look like—usually involving property ownership, career prestige, and a comfortable bank balance. But reality is far more nuanced: we each have different aspirations, different journeys, and different definitions of what it means to be successful.

This guide is all about challenging the notion that there’s a one-size-fits-all path to happiness and financial security. By the end, you’ll have practical tips to discover, define, and confidently pursue your own version of success—whether that aligns with traditional expectations or completely breaks the mold.

A Note on the “Rich Life”:
Earlier, we explored Ramit Sethi’s concept of a “Rich Life,” highlighting that money should serve your personal values—whether that’s travel, family time, or gourmet dining. This guide expands on that idea by emphasizing that success itself also varies from person to person, much like how a Rich Life does. If your Rich Life prioritizes freedom and exploration, your definition of success will naturally look different from someone who thrives in a traditional office career or aims to own multiple properties.

The Hong Kong Success Narrative

In this city of skyscrapers and success stories, it’s tempting to assume there’s a universal formula:

1. Get a stable job.
2. Save relentlessly.
3. Buy property as soon as possible.
4. Keep climbing the corporate ladder.

While each step may bring a sense of accomplishment, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee fulfillment. Sometimes, people reach these milestones only to realize they’re exhausted, stressed, or unfulfilled—wondering, “Is this all there is?”

Cultural Roots

• Collective Pressure: Many Hong Kong families have faced tough financial circumstances—scarcity mindsets or historical hardships—which shaped the belief that stability and property ownership equal security.
• Status & Face: Social standing is closely tied to tangible achievements, like a high-paying job or owning real estate in a prime location.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting these milestones. But as Ramit Sethi’s “Rich Life” philosophy suggests, the key question is: Do they align with your personal values?

Think of it this way

Hong Kong’s typical success narrative is like ordering dim sum. Most people go straight for the classics—har gow (shrimp dumplings) and siu mai (pork dumplings)—because they’re safe and familiar. But the menu has so much more to offer! If you venture beyond the usual picks, you might discover a new favorite dish that genuinely excites you. Similarly, your personal version of success might lie beyond the typical “property-job-marriage” checklist.

Reasons Success Varies from Person to Person

1. Individual Values
   
   • One person might crave community—preferring a flexible schedule to volunteer or support family.
   • Another might live for adventure—needing the freedom (and funds) to travel widely.
   • A third could want a stable job plus a small side hustle that funds creative hobbies.

Each priority shapes how they define “success.” Under Ramit Sethi’s “Rich Life” framework, money serves your personal passions—so success naturally differs based on what ignites your excitement or sense of purpose.

2. Life Circumstances
   
   • Family responsibilities, health concerns, or career shifts can dramatically alter what feels realistic or important. Perhaps you’re caring for aging parents or raising young children; this might make stability more pressing than ambition—or vice versa.
3. Personal Passions and Hobbies
   
   • If you love the arts, your dream may be to fund a personal creative project. If you’re into fitness, you might yearn for the time and resources to join specialized training programs or open a small gym. These goals don’t always fit into the traditional “corporate ladder” mentality.
4. Changing Goals
   
   • What felt like success at age 25 might not resonate at 35, especially if life circumstances have shifted. It’s okay—even healthy—to let your definition of success evolve.

The Downside of Sticking to a Single Definition

1. Stress and Burnout
   
   • If you’re working yourself to exhaustion just to meet society’s measure of success (e.g., massive mortgage, luxury car), the emotional and physical toll can outweigh any perceived prestige.
2. Missed Opportunities
   
   • Following a narrow path (e.g., focusing only on homeownership) can prevent you from seizing other life-enriching opportunities, like studying abroad, taking a sabbatical, or investing in a passion project.
3. Identity Crisis
   
   • People sometimes reach society’s goals—property, status, big salary—only to ask, “Why am I still unhappy?” Realizing you chased external markers can create a sense of confusion or loss of self.
   • Some realize too late that they’ve chased external markers rather than personal fulfillment. This can create a sense of “What’s next?” or “Why am I still unhappy?”

It’s OK to Feel Uncomfortable When Others Don’t Approve

4.1 A Very Real Struggle

Many of us fear disapproval—especially from loved ones or close friends. If you find your version of success differs from your family’s expectations, it can feel:

• Awkward when relatives comment on your “unusual” choices (like renting indefinitely or traveling often).
• Isolating if your peers are buying homes, upgrading cars, and you’re not.
• Anxious if you sense your parents want you to be “successful” in the standard way, yet your heart is elsewhere.

It’s perfectly normal to feel uneasy or guilty when forging your own path. That discomfort doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it means you’re human—wired for belonging, yet discovering your own route.

4.2 Practical Advice for Handling Disapproval

1. Acknowledge the Emotions
   
   • Remind yourself it’s human nature to want approval. But a “Rich Life” means aligning finances with your passions, even if you stand out.
   • You might experience guilt, fear, or second-guessing—accept these feelings without judging yourself.
2. Communicate Your Vision
   
   • Talk with family or friends about your definition of success. Explain why traveling the world or freelancing matters to you.
   • Share a tangible plan or budget so they see you’re not being reckless—you’re being intentional.
3. Seek External Support
   
   • Find like-minded communities online or in Hong Kong. Hearing others’ stories can help normalize an unconventional route.
   • Confide in a mentor, friend, or counselor if the pressure feels overwhelming.
4. Stay the Course
   
   • “The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts.” If your dream is to roam the globe, or become an artist, or live a simpler life, that passion can be a strong anchor.
   • Keep revisiting why you chose this path—it’ll help you push through moments of doubt.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
   
   • Each time you make a choice that honors your vision—like saying “no” to a high-stress job offer, or saving money for a trip instead of a down payment—applaud yourself.
   • This positive reinforcement builds resilience against external criticism.

Think of It This Way

Humans are social creatures. We want acceptance from our “tribe,” whether it’s family, friends, or colleagues. But just as a tribe needed diverse roles to thrive—hunters, gatherers, caretakers—you can thrive by playing a unique role in your circle, even if it diverges from the standard path. It might be uncomfortable, but it’s also how you ensure your life stays authentically yours.

5. Tying It to Ramit Sethi’s “Rich Life”

According to Ramit, living a “Rich Life” is about using money intentionally to support what you value most—family time, creative pursuits, travel, or any personal passion. If your friends or family don’t see the point in renting your entire life or exploring a creative career with less pay, that doesn’t invalidate your dream:

• Spend lavishly on what fulfills you, cut back on what doesn’t.
• If a stable job or mortgage doesn’t truly resonate, it’s okay to opt out.
• Yes, you might face skepticism, but the “Rich Life” is about fulfillment, not compliance.

Ramit Sethi teaches that your money should serve what you love, whether that’s:

• Travel: Prioritizing experiences in new countries over a fancy car or a plush apartment.
• Family Time: Optimizing your work and finances so you can pick kids up from school daily, or take Sundays off for extended family brunch.
• Gourmet Dining: Splurging on high-end meals if that truly sparks joy, while cutting costs elsewhere you don’t care about.

4.1 Linking It to Your Definition of Success

If your Rich Life prioritizes freedom and exploration, your success might revolve around:

• Flexibility in job or location,
• Minimizing debt to fund extended travel or sabbaticals.

If your Rich Life is about community and stability, success might be:

• Owning a comfortable home near family,
• Having a job that pays well enough to support loved ones or enjoy small luxuries together.

(No single “Rich Life” is supreme—like success, it’s deeply personal.)

Real-Life Example: Janet’s Personal Revolution

Background: Janet followed the Hong Kong playbook—corporate ladder, property by 30, meticulous saving. She achieved it all yet felt strangely unfulfilled.

Epiphany: She realized she’d ignored her lifelong dream of being a writer. Owning property felt empty compared to her calling for creativity.

Shift: Janet leased out her flat, downsized, and took a lower-paying editorial role. Though her friends thought she’d “stepped down,” she was finally living her Rich Life—writing daily and sustaining a simpler yet happier routine.

Key Insight: Sometimes letting go of society’s version of success is exactly what you need to find your own.

5. Steps to Define (and Live) Your Own Version of Success

5.1 Reflect on What Truly Matters

1. Identify Core Values
   
   • Write down 3–5 things you prize most—freedom, family, creativity, etc.
   • Ask: How do these shape my view of work, lifestyle, and finances?
2. Visualize Your Ideal Day/Week
   
   • Where do you live?
   • How do you spend mornings, afternoons, and evenings?
   • Who are you with?
   • This reveals practical clues about what success looks like for you.

5.2 Align Financial Goals with Your Rich Life

• If travel is a priority, create a “travel fund” or set up auto-deposits into an investment account earmarked for future adventures.
• If stability is key, build an ample emergency fund or explore property but on your timeline, not your neighbor’s.

5.3 Check In Regularly

• Life changes; so can your goals. Schedule “goal reviews” every 3–6 months to see if your definition of success has shifted.
• Embracing evolution is part of Ramit’s philosophy: your Rich Life grows with you.

5.4 Seek Communities That Support You

• Join local Hong Kong or online groups where people share diverse lifestyles and financial priorities.
• Seeing how others define success can open your eyes to new paths—and reassure you that going “off-script” is perfectly valid.

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Real-Life Example: Redefining Success Beyond the Norm

Case Study: Janet spent her 20s climbing the corporate ladder in Hong Kong, saving every dollar to buy a property by age 30—a typical “success” story. But when she finally achieved it, she felt oddly empty. She realized she’d buried her lifelong dream of being a writer.

After serious thought, Janet leased out her property, downsized to a smaller rented flat, and used the rental income to supplement a lower-paying editorial role at a publishing house. Her friends were puzzled—wasn’t she “stepping down” in life? But for Janet, this new lifestyle aligned with her deepest passions. Today, she sees success as having the freedom to write every day, an income stream that covers her basics, and time to grow in a creative environment. She’s living her own version of a Rich Life—one driven by personal fulfillment rather than societal benchmarks.

Think of it this way

If the standard Hong Kong dream is a high-rise office job and a cramped flat in an upscale area, maybe you’d rather trade that for a more spacious home outside the city center so you can save on rent or mortgage. Perhaps you’d invest the difference in a startup or simply enjoy more personal downtime. Success isn’t about the address—it’s about how fulfilled you feel.

Let’s simplify this

When you define your own version of success, you’re effectively writing your own “life script.” Instead of following the director’s cut of Hong Kong society—where certain scenes (like property ownership) must happen by a specific age—you can decide which scenes matter, when they happen, and how they unfold.

Making Your Unique Success a Reality: Practical Tips

1. Align Daily Habits
   
   • If you value family time, implement a no-gadgets dinner or set aside weekends for loved ones.
   • If you dream of a creative career, dedicate certain hours weekly to your craft, treating it as seriously as a job.
2. Create a Financial “Priorities Fund”
   
   • This dedicated account supports your top values—be it travel, launching a side business, or saving for an educational course.
   • Ties back to Ramit Sethi’s principle: spend lavishly on what you love, cut back on what you don’t care about.
3. Communicate with Loved Ones
   
   • If your success diverges from your parents’ or partner’s ideas, explain your rationale kindly. Show them you’re not being reckless, just intentional.
4. Embrace Detours
   
   • Life rarely goes as planned. A financial hiccup or change of heart might set you back—see it as a detour, not a dead end.
   • Stay anchored to your vision but remain flexible in execution.
5. Celebrate Milestones (Big or Small)
   
   • Whether it’s clearing a small debt, pursuing a new hobby, or taking a mini-sabbatical, acknowledge your wins. They’re stepping stones to your Rich Life.

Real-Life Example: Kevin’s Rethinking

Background: Kevin started with the standard Hong Kong dream—save aggressively, buy property, climb corporate ranks. After a decade, he owned a small unit but felt unfulfilled.

Breakthrough: A chance workshop introduced him to the idea of a more flexible lifestyle. He realized his actual passion lay in photography and traveling.

Shift: Kevin rented out his property, freeing up finances to cut down on corporate hours, and used the rental income to support part-time traveling. He found a new sense of purpose documenting global destinations—his version of success.

7. Bringing It All Together

Success in the Lens of a “Rich Life”

Ramit Sethi’s “Rich Life” underscores that money is a tool to fuel what you value most, rather than an end in itself. Extending that logic to success, you realize it’s not about chasing society’s script—property, job title, bigger salary—but about aligning your time, energy, and finances with your passions:

• For some, that might indeed be purchasing real estate and celebrating each mortgage payment as a step toward security.
• For others, it might be minimalism, flexible work hours, or investing heavily in a beloved hobby.

No single path defines success; it’s about curating a life that resonates with your deepest values.

In the upcoming chapters, we’ll challenge some of the biggest expectations and limiting beliefs around money in Hong Kong. The next chapter asks an uncomfortable and controversial question: Is property ownership truly your dream, or is it just everyone else’s? For many Hongkongers, property stands as the pinnacle of success and security. But does it align with your personal definition, or is it simply a script you feel compelled to follow?

We’ll break down:

• The cultural and societal forces behind homeownership,
• The media’s role in pushing “buying is always better,”
• Whether owning a home automatically brings financial security, or if it’s just another rung on an endless ladder,
• And, importantly, if property truly suits your Rich Life—or if there are alternatives you might love more.

If you’ve felt pressured to “buy now” without fully knowing why, stay tuned. We’ll help you peel back those layers so you can choose—owning, renting, investing elsewhere, or forging a unique path—that genuinely fits your evolving notion of success.

Remember: success in the “Rich Life” sense is about designing a life that resonates with your values and passions, not just fulfilling any checklist. Whether that includes a gleaming new flat, a simple rented space, or something in between, is ultimately yours to decide.

See you in the next chapter—where we’ll question the belief that homeownership is Hong Kong’s universal pinnacle of success and apply these insights to your own evolving Rich Life definition.