1.2 Money as More Than Numbers

Beyond Budgets and Balances

When you think about personal finance, what comes to mind? Probably numbers—budgets, savings accounts, investment returns. But here’s the truth: money is about more than numbers. It’s emotional. It’s deeply personal. And the way you feel about money often has a bigger impact on your financial choices than the numbers ever will.

At its simplest level, money can seem like a mere tool to buy things. But in reality, it carries layers of meaning — inherited from family traditions, cultural norms, and personal experiences. Money, in this sense, isn’t neutral. It’s colored by memories: the first time you saved your pocket money as a kid, the anxiety of hearing your parents discuss rising rents, the pride of landing a better-paying job. Understanding this emotional backdrop helps you see that money management isn’t just about counting dollars; it’s about knowing yourself.

The Emotional Currency of Money

Think about your last big spending decision. Were you calm and analytical, or did you feel a swirl of emotions—excitement, guilt, maybe even relief? In reality, money can represent far more than a way to buy things:

• Fear: “What if I don’t have enough?”
• Guilt: “I shouldn’t have spent so much on that.”
• Stress: “I need to save more, but where do I even start?”
• Pride: “I worked hard for this, and I deserve it.”

Here’s a simple example: Imagine you’re out for hotpot with friends. You’ve already overspent this month, yet you throw in your share without complaint because the last thing you want is to seem stingy. Beneath that one transaction lies a desire for social belonging, the pressure to keep up appearances, and a pinch of pride—none of which show up in a spreadsheet.

Why Feelings Matter More Than Numbers

If money were purely logical, nobody would overspend or make questionable investments. But reality isn’t so tidy. Our emotions often sneak in and guide our choices before logic even gets a say.

• When anxious, you might buy takeout or a shiny new gadget just to feel better—momentarily forgetting how it affects your budget.
• When calm and secure, you might stash more into savings or your MPF account, reassured that everything will work out.
• When worried about “missing out,” you might buy gifts during Chinese New Year or jump on a too-good-to-be-true sale, even if it puts a strain on your finances.

None of these decisions are inherently “bad,” but when they’re driven by raw emotion instead of genuine needs or goals, you can find yourself regretting them once the mood passes.

Money as a Story: What’s Your Narrative?

Every one of us carries a unique “money narrative,” shaped by upbringing, personal experiences, and cultural lessons. In Hong Kong, you might have heard your parents say, “Property ownership is everything,” or maybe you saw a relative lose money during the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis and again in 2008. Those events can stick with you, planting the belief that investing is more like gambling than building wealth.

Think of these narratives as powerful scripts you may not even realise you’re following. Are you always looking for the cheapest item because you grew up hearing money was scarce? Or do you upgrade your phone every year because that’s what your social circle does, even if it stretches your budget? Recognising that these are stories—not unchangeable truths—is often the first step toward crafting a money story that actually reflects who you are today.

Daily Life: Conscious vs. Unconscious Choices

Have you ever come home with shopping bags you never meant to fill, wondering, How did I spend so much? Many of our financial moves happen on autopilot, driven by emotional scripts rather than careful thought. You might:

• Reach for a brand-name item because it signals “success” to those around you.
• Automatically choose the cheapest groceries, ignoring quality, just to avoid the guilt of “wasting money.”
• Slip into lifestyle inflation—upgrading your apartment or car simply because everyone else around you seems to be doing it.

The key is to pause and check whether your actions align with your real needs and values or if you’re just following old habits or peer pressure without questioning them.

Overcoming Shame, Guilt, and Embarrassment

Money in Hong Kong can be tied to intense emotions, especially given the city’s sky-high housing costs and competitive social scene. You might feel guilty for not saving enough when your friends have already bought property, embarrassed if your salary is lower than others’, or even ashamed if you can’t match lavish gifts at weddings or holiday events.

But here’s something crucial to remember: everyone has their own money struggles, no matter what it looks like from the outside. Realising this can ease the sting of comparison and reduce the stigma around financial conversations. Instead of hiding out of fear or shame, try acknowledging the common ground we all share. Whether it means setting boundaries with friends, seeking professional advice, or constructing a realistic debt repayment plan, embracing your financial truth is more liberating than pretending it doesn’t exist.

How to Navigate with Both Heart and Head

So, how do you balance these emotions with practical logic?

1. Pause Before You Spend
   Is this purchase helping you reach a real goal, or is it a quick fix for stress or insecurity?
2. Identify Your Triggers
   Do you tend to overspend after a rough day at work or when you notice friends flaunting new gadgets? Recognising patterns is the first step to breaking them.
3. Reframe the Question
   Instead of asking, “Can I afford this right now?” try, “Will I still feel good about this purchase a month from now?” or “Does this align with what I really value?”

Remember, emotions aren’t the enemy. They can guide you toward what matters most—like pride in achieving a savings goal or the joy of donating to a cause you believe in. The trick is making conscious decisions rather than letting fear, envy, or guilt decide for you.

What’s Next?

By now, you can see why money decisions often aren’t logical at all—they’re shaped by your family background, cultural norms, and personal experiences. Curious to explore these roots even further? In the next lesson, “The Role of Culture and Family: Where Our Money Beliefs Come From,” we’ll uncover how upbringing and social environments shape your financial identity. Armed with that insight, you can rewrite the parts of your money story that no longer serve you and make choices that truly match who you want to be.

Because at the end of the day, managing money isn’t just about adding and subtracting—it’s about recognising the powerful narratives that guide your financial life, then deciding which ones you’ll keep and which ones you’re ready to leave behind.